In some of my earlier posts, I mentioned that I had kidney stones back around the beginning of the year, and since I did not want to experience the pain again, I was watching how much water I was drinking as well as making other changes in my diet. Well, a few weeks ago, the pain returned and I had another stone. Although this stone was not quite as big as the first one, and passed in a couple of days, the pain was still intense.  This made me stop and evaluate where I was at with the well planned behaviors that were supposed to help prevent this from happening again and gives me the opportunity to share my learning’s. 

As you might guess, with very few exceptions, I had slipped back to the old behaviors around my diet and drinking water.  Dean Ornish, a heart doctor, had years ago observed in his patients after a heart attack that fear of another heart attack or death was rarely enough to move people to long-term change in prevention behaviors (like smoking, activity or diet). I found for myself that although fear of very severe pain was enough to motivate me to the initial changes, it was not enough to get me to eat a different diet and drink more water a few months later.  Even more significant, these changes in diet and water were not ones that caused discomfort or stressed “survival instincts”, unlike what might happen with trying to cut down on calories or stopping smoking, so they should have been even easier to maintain than the lifestyle changes I ask my patients to make. 

So then why was I not able to maintain these seemingly easy changes and avoid the repeat pain? Because the fear of another event that motivated me to change was not enough to keep me motivated and keep the changes going. I knew having another stone and having the pain was possible, when it came down to the minute by minute choices I had to make, I did not think it would really happen again (and the pain wasn’t really that bad was it). So I chose the old, easier, and more comfortable ways. Dean Ornish has said that fear of death is not sustainable but finding joy in life that is supported by such behavioral changes is sustainable. Think of changes you have been able to make and maintain. Were these a result of being afraid of something, or feeling good about how the change fit in your life and how it helped move you towards a goal? We can discuss ongoing motivation and drive more in upcoming blogs. For now though, if you are struggling with a change, and you have started that change because you are afraid of the outcome without changing, see if there also might be more positive (joyful) reasons for the change. Perhaps that will help you to stick with it. It would be interesting to hear your experiences with diet, exercise, and other lifestyle changes, and how fear or more positive emotions like joy have helped you sustain these changes.