For some Colorado families, this holiday season will be one of change, and financial stress from unemployment or economic uncertainty will impact how they treat the holidays.

Since most kids relate the holidays with a pile of presents, some parents are facing a difficult dilemma: How do you tell your kids there will be fewer – perhaps significantly fewer – presents under the tree this year?

“Talk to your kids early about the change this year – the sooner, the better,” says Kevin Doherty, mental health therapist with Kaiser Permanente Colorado. “Kids like routines, and change can be difficult. Emphasize that times are tough right now for the family, and this change has nothing to do with them. Kids are socially conditioned to believe that being a good kid equals getting presents and being a bad kid equals getting a lump of coal. So you want them to know it’s not their fault.”

Whether you’re drastically scaling back on gift-giving this month or need to eliminate the expense completely, entering the holiday season with limited monetary resources also can represent an opportunity for the family to re-focus on the spirit of the holidays and to start new, low- or no-cost traditions at this time of year.

Family Decisions
“Talk to your kids about some new activities this season, and include them in the decision-making," he says. "Ask your kids what they would like to do to make the holiday more special for them. Kids are very creative and they may have some great ideas that you haven’t considered. If you include them in this process, they are more likely to support the process.”

“For families planning on getting a tree, make this activity a highlight, and trim and decorate it together,” Doherty continues. “Maybe it’s singing carols together in your neighborhood, making and decorating cookies or making presents instead of buying them. There are many opportunities to turn new activities into a fun, family holiday tradition.”

During these conversations, Doherty suggests you talk ‘with’ your kids, not ‘to’ them. “Kids need to feel safe to share their feelings, to ask questions or even disagree. You can do this by saying, ‘We know this may be difficult for you, so we want to hear from you, too.’ You can tell them they aren’t alone, that times are tough for so many people right now and that others have to make changes this year, too.”

Better to Give Than to Receive
A new tradition for your family could be to volunteer during the holidays. Helping those in need during the holidays can serve two purposes: giving back to the community could instill the spirit of the holidays in a new and rewarding way and also can be a real-life example that shows how others might be facing even tougher challenges than their family.

“Donating your time is beneficial to those you’re helping, and beneficial to you and your kids," Doherty says. "You also can spend a few hours with your children cleaning out your closets and donate clothes and unwanted toys to charitable organizations. It’s another win-win situation.”

Build Memories
“Kids remember what you do with them and not what you give or don’t give them,” he says. “Ask them what they got during the holidays three years ago and most likely they won’t remember. But, ask them what special things they did three years ago at this time of year, like making a gingerbread house together, or volunteering their time helping others, and they will remember.”

With the economy struggling and unemployment affecting more families this year than in decades, times are tough for many. But, it doesn’t mean they have to be sad times.

“Sometimes it’s the simple things, with only our friends and family that make a holiday special. See this as an opportunity to create fun times and new traditions with your kids,” Doherty says. “Also, see this as an excellent opportunity to learn to better communicate with your children. Good luck and have fun!”

Share your holiday traditions.